Safety Planning for Victims of Domestic Violence

Tech safety tip: Abusers may misuse technology to control and harm their victims. If you are worried about an abuser seeing you on our website, use the  Quick Exit button in the top right corner to leave quickly. (Note: it does not clear your browsing history.)

Learn more from the National Domestic Violence Hotline about Internet Safety for Survivors.

      As you begin your plan, keep in mind:

• You want your plan to be specific
• You want your plan to be realistic
• Start with what will make you feel safer and help you find peace
• Your plan can, and should, be updated as your situation changes

If you would like help with creating your safety plan, contact your local domestic violence program. Many of them are listed on the Montana Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence website. 

If you are at home and are being threatened or attacked, try to:

• Stay away from the kitchen, where the abuser can find weapons such as knives.
• Stay away from bathrooms, closets, or small spaces where your abuser can trap you.
• Get to a room with a door or window.
• Get to a room with a phone to call for help; lock your abuser outside if you can.
• Call 911
• Think about a neighbor or friend you can run to for help.
• If a police officer comes, tell them what happened and get their name and badge number.
• Get medical help if you are hurt.
• Take pictures of any bruises or injuries.
• Call a domestic violence program or shelter; ask them to help you make a safety plan and/or get an order of protection.

• Think about where you would go if you needed to escape your home quickly. Learn about places in your community where you can go to get help. These can be public or private spaces: a friend’s home, family, a fire station, store, or restaurant.
• Plan an escape route out of your home; teach it to your children in an age and situation appropriate way.
• Learn and memorize emergency phone numbers.
• Keep a phone in a room you can lock from the inside.  If you can, get a cell phone that you keep with you at all times. You can also keep an old cell phone charged and hidden in a safe place. All phones can call 911 (even without a cellular plan or minutes). *Calls to 911 on phones without active service do not deliver the caller’s location to the 911 call center. Also, the call center cannot call these phones back to find out the caller’s location or the nature of the emergency. This means that if the call ends, the operator can only rely on information you provided before the call came to a close. 
• Talk to your neighbors to set up a signal that lets them know to call the police. For example, a shade is pulled down or a certain light is on. Create a code word or phrase for neighbors, friends, or family to get help if needed.
• Pack a bag with important things you would need if you had to leave quickly.Put it in a safe place, or give it to someone you trust. Consider including:
  • cash
  • car keys 
  • important information (court papers, passports, birth certificates, medical records)
  •  medicines.
• Take a good self defense course.

If either you or your abuser has already moved out of your home:

• Ask your neighbors to call the police if they see the abuser at your house.
• Get an unlisted phone number.
• Use an answering machine/voicemail to screen your calls.
• If your abuser moved out, change the locks on your doors and windows.

• Teach them to not get in the middle of a fight, even if they want to help.
• Teach them how to get to safety, to call 911, and to give your address and phone number to the police.
• Teach them who to call for help.
• Tell them to stay out of the kitchen during arguments.
• If you have an order of protection:
  • Give the principal at the school or daycare center a copy 
  • tell the school not to release your children to anyone without talking to you first
  • use a password so the school can be sure it is you on the phone
  • give the school a photo of your abuser.
• Talk to your children about who to tell at school if they see the abuser.
• Make sure the school knows not to give your address or phone number to anyone.
• Make sure to repeat these steps when your children have new teachers or your daycare hires new staff. 

Abusers will often misuse technology to further abuse and control their victims. Misuse of technology could include monitoring, sending multiple unwanted or threatening messages, or posting negative comments or images of you online.

Trust your instincts. If you believe you are being monitored or stalked via technology, you might be. Narrowing down what is happening, including the tactic and the technology used, can help to determine if stalking is occurring. 

Computers and Phones

A computer and cell phone can be monitored without you knowing it. History from a computer or cell phone should never be considered erased – even if you went “private” or “incognito”. 

• Turn off the location on the cell phone and on all apps that have a location finder.
• Take screenshots or print out emails and text messages that include conversations about children, money, or abusive incidents that have happened. You may be able to use them if you file a police report or go to court.
•  If your abuser is making harassing phone calls, get a print-off of your cell phone bill showing the calls.

Cameras

Cameras can be put up in personal space or public, but are more often tied to living situations. If you discover one, cover the camera but avoid removing or damaging them. Document the camera with photos and videos and call the police to file a report.

GPS

Small GPS trackers like an AirTag or Tile can be placed on or in your car, cell phone, or purse/wallet. Conduct sweeps of your car and possessions. If you find one, document it and call the police to file a report. 

Social Media

If you are being harassed on social media, take a screenshot. You can also use

Facebook’s “Download Your Information” feature. You may consider reporting the harassment to the social media or website company. If it violates the site’s terms of service or content guidelines, they may remove the content so be sure to screenshot the abuse first.

• Change your regular travel habits.
• Try to get rides with different people.
• Bank and shop at different places.
• Open a new bank account or credit card that is not shared with your abuser and talk to an attorney about whether you can cancel any shared accounts. 
• Keep a cell phone and program it with emergency numbers.
• If you have an order of protection, keep it with you at all times. Bring the order of protection with you if you have to travel to another state.t is valid everywhere.

• If you have an order of protection, keep a copy of it with you at work.
• Give a picture of your abuser to security guards and friends at work.
• Tell your supervisors about your abuser; see if they can make it harder for your abuser to find you.
• Don't go to lunch alone.
• Ask a security guard or co-worker to walk you to your car or bus.
• If your abuser contacts you at work, save the voicemail or email.
• Your employer may be able to help you find community resources.

• Sit as far away from the abuser as you can.
• Ask the sheriff or judge to keep the abuser there for a while when court is over; leave
  quickly.
• If you think the abuser is following you when you leave, call the police
  immediately.
• Bring a friend or relative with you to court.

Learn more in our article How to Represent Yourself in an Order of Protection Hearing in Montana.

Legal Forms

If you have not already applied for a Temporary Order of Protection (TOP) and want to, you can find forms on this website to do that. You can download our write-in-the blank one and complete it by hand. Or, you can use our interactive form and answer questions online and then download a completed form and file it with the court. 

• Follow this link to the write-in-the-blank Petition for Temporary Order of Protection.
• Follow this link to the interactive Petition for Temporary Order of Protection.
• The Montana Attorney General has forms and information for the Address Confidentiality and Hope Card programs. 

Safety Planning

Safety planning may help you stay safe if the Respondent tries to hurt you, even if you get an Order of Protection.

• Get help with safety planning from a Crime Victim Advocate near you  
• Learn more about safety planning from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  

Legal Help

• Montana Legal Services Association (MLSA) provides free civil legal help to eligible clients. Apply for services to find out if MLSA can help you. 
• If you have or are going to file for an Order of Protection somewhere outside of Montana, you will want to find legal help in that state.